Growing into Me

During my slow hours of recovery, I had a chance to read John Ortberg's book, "the me I want to be" (Zondervan, 2010). I have read all of Ortberg's books, and he always hits a home-run in my game of life. Each one has significantly impacted my spiritual and my professional life. This time, it was the timing that as perfect. It was exactly the right book at the right time. Major joint replacement surgery is a parenthetical pause in my "normal" life, my hurried schedule and my "ho-hum" routine. It has given me the opportunity to deeply examine my life, past, present and future. I soaked up Ortberg's book like a sponge, and found his purpose and presentation convicting and convincing.

Orberg is not for from my age, and I understand his thinking: "I do not know how many years of life are before me. I cannot wait anymore to be the [person] God wants me to be. There is a me I want to be." He writes about discovering the "flow" of God's Spirit in our lives, living and thinking in that flow. He touches on all the "flow blockers" that can be present: lack of surrender, temptations, "trying harder," our work, our relationships, difficult people, and the adversities life throws at us.

His book has inspired me to sift through all the "stuff" of my life and get rid of whatever blocks the flow of God's work in my day-to-day existence -- and that's a lot of "stuff." I have accumulated too much "stuff" over the years, from material possessions to emotional baggage and spiritual "duties." I confess that I am the quintessential shopper: I love clothes, shoes, accessories, cosmetics, and all the "girlie" things that are so pervasive in our society. Shopping was a stress reliever and an enjoyable hobby. Occasionally I found it necessary to clean out bulging closets and drawers, to make room for more "stuff," of course.

Now I am really "cleaning house," giving mounds to charity, throwing away and simplifying my physical existence. Simplicity is the key word. Every drawer, every closet and every storage box -- simplify, pare down, eliminate duplicates, try to get by on 39 pairs of black shoes......If I haven't used it in five years, I do not need it now. I think you get the picture.

Yet Orbterg has pushed me one step further. It is time to experience a new beginning in all aspects of my life. This is not just a physical cleaning project. Like the act of cleaning up and clearing out material things, it is time to do the same in my spiritual and emotional life as well. I am really looking at the real me, and trying to specifically identify anything in my life that makes me the me that I do NOT want to be. This may include (but is not limited to) self-centered desires, nagging temptations, lack of confidence in God's ability to mold me (shouldn't I do this myself?), and a real avoidance of pain and confrontation.

I have a new knee. With a lot of work and therapy and tenacity, it will be better than the old one. Why not apply this kind of perseverance to the rest of my life? I have a big God, and, thanks to him, I have a new life. It will be better than the old one.