British Columbia, and Seattle

Just returned home from a fantastic trip through British Columbia to Whistler and Blackcombe mountains, where the Winter Olympic Games, 2010, took place. We visited the area with friends, awed by the panoramic scenery and the black bears! From Whistler village, we took the gondola up to about 8,000 feet of mountain beauty. The picture included is a giant stone Olympic symbol, found throughout the area because the ski events were here. The mountains are vast -- you can fit both Aspen and Vail ski areas inside and still have lots of mountain trails left over. Everything is green, with lots of streams, lakes and waterfalls that split the forest regions. Being there just made me want to ski again -- maybe this winter if the knee is strong enough -- or the next year ---!

From Canada we traveled back south to Seattle, where our friends live, for a few more days of vacation fun. We went up and down the Puget Sound by car, bridge and ferry; we ate fabulous seafood in every town and at every opportunity. On our last day, we visited a house right on Lake Washington for the finale of the annual Sea Fair week in Seattle. It was an airshow, culminating in a breath-taking performance by the Blue Angels (US Navy fighter jets). Super vacation with Starbucks, good friends, good food and wine, filled again with the awe of God's world!

Two Months and Counting

Two months post-surgery and I am functioning like a normal human being again -- whatever that means. I am doing all the expected life-stuff, like tying a shoe, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, pulling weeds in the garden, cooking, cleaning, shopping, carrying books and groceries and even enjoying the mountains again.

Am I pain-free? Not exactly -- I still take an Advil PM before bed. Sometimes I ice the knee in the evenings when it aches. The therapist said it will swell after use for as much as a year after surgery. I taught at a church, standing at a podium for about 45 minutes, and my knee was stiff and sore. It felt like I had a big stretchy bandage around the knee. I still get up slowly from sitting for any length of time. A pedicure is time-consuming and difficult, but not impossible!

I am not bending my knee back as far as my "good" leg, but perhaps that will come with time. The doctor said that I cannot injure what has been done inside the knee. This is reassuring -- I can do anything except run marathons (no need to worry there). The stationary bike is my friend on a daily basis, and I try to walk around the neighborhood in the evenings. It seems to be more beneficial than watching the Rockies on TV.....

I have learned a lot about myself in two months. The healing that I have done emotionally and spiritually has paralleled my physical healing. There are many reasons for this; suffice it to say that I have more patience and tenacity with life and with myself. I can "push through the pain" and come out better on the other side. Depending heavily upon other people is humbling. Certainly I need to relax and "bend" more. I hope that I am less self-centered and self-absorbed. I think I am more compassionate with others, since we all experience throbbing pain at some point in time, in one form or another.

It has been said that "in the storm, we discover who our real gods are. Only the true God rescues us and walks through the storm with us." This is a lesson I hope I will not forget.

Colorado Wildflowers

There is very little debate concerning the awesome scenery in the Colorado mountains in the summertime. July is the apex of the wildflower season, and this year the flowers are spectacular. We went hiking at one of my favorite places, at Shrine Pass, and had a day of sunshine, breath-taking views and photography. We drove a dirt road from the top of Vail Pass (exit 190) to the bottom of Shrine Pass. There is a great hiking trail up from a parking lot to open meadows. At some point in time, a forest fire ravaged these meadows, leaving stumps and fallen trees. The effects are still clearly seen, but now the grasses and flowers have surrounded the uniquely shaped wood, creating a masterpiece of color, form and contrast. One could not plan or plant a better symphony of colors -- blue to purple lupins, indian-paint-brush in bright orange and even raspberry, white and purple asters, yellow sun-flowers and soft blue-bells in the shade. As a back-drop, the sky was blue as only a Colorado sky can be, with big puffy white clouds.

What a glorious day, and I cannot stop thanking God for his awesome creation and for the fact that I can hike into such a magnificent area.

Summertime in Colorado

Dave and I went to Dillon Lake yesterday to do a little fishing. We love to go to Dillon and sit at the water's edge and just soak up the mountain scenery and cool mountain air. It doesn't hurt to catch eight beautiful rainbow trout that came home for dinner. We caught just two in the morning and then went to Frisco to eat lunch. After lunch the wind really picked up on the lake, and it was difficult to cast into the wind. Dave had some alone time fishing while I took a quick visit to the Outlet stores in Silverthorne (caught good stuff there, too!). When I returned to the fishing site, Dave had almost caught our limit. Then, thanks to his casting, I pulled in two great big fish. It was really fun.

The best part was that I could do any of this! My knee is still rather stiff and sore, but I can go up and down stairs, up and down the slope to the edge of the water, around on hiking trails and even shopping!! Yippee!
In conclusion, the summer sunset last evening from our back deck was too beautiful to miss! Enjoy the best of Colorado in the summer.

"Final Exam" Positive

Four weeks after surgery, I met with my surgeon for a final check-up. I have not seen him since immediately before the surgery. It felt like a "final exam" of sorts, and, typical of me, I went with great anxiety. My fears were relieved, however, when Dr. Chiang gave me a positive response. We looked at my x-rays taken the day of the exam, and he was very pleased with his work. I had to admit, the pictures revealed a clear picture of two perfectly positioned prostheses, one secured into the femur (thigh) bone and one secured into the tibia (bottom) bone. While we all rejoiced in this surgical work of art, I was told that the hard work has just begun. We -- rather I--am only part way there. I must work to bend the knee equivalent to the bending of the right knee. He said I am fighting a war against the knee's natural propensity to form scar tissue, and I cannot let that happen. I will never had full extension of the knee or full bend if that tissue is allowed to form scar tissue inside.

The doctor said that I should feel much better between weeks four and six, and pain will continue to reduce as I strengthen the leg and force the knee to bend. Since I am not on blood-thinner anymore, I can use an anti-inflammatory drug such as Aleve or Advil for pain. The narcotics should finally be a thing of the past -- yippee!! If I am faithful to push myself, to stretch and bend, at the end of two more months I will be as good as new.

At this point, he has released me from all limited activity. I can drive a car, play golf (as if I could play golf), walk, hike, swim, do stairs and bike. The only thing I cannot do is sustained running, like a marathon (as if I could do a marathon). Someday I will be able to bend enough to weed the garden, but Dave still has to do that right now......

I am greatly relieved by the "final exam." I saw it with my own eyes. Psychologically, I know that I cannot hurt anything inside the knee at this point and that my final out-come is finally up to me and my determination. I am humbled and grateful -- and sore.

Three weeks and counting --

Three-plus weeks post-surgery. Sometimes I really feel discouraged, and other times I feel like I am really making progress. It has been very difficult to manage the pain with prescription narcotics (which I wanted to eliminate ASAP) and with OTC pain meds like Tylenol. Still on a blood-thinner (which will be done the end of this week), I cannot take anything that contains aspirin. So the meds are tricky. Sometimes I cannot sleep at night, and I just can't get comfortable. The fact that this has been a very bad week for seasonal allergies has not helped....

All whining aside, the physical therapist says I am where I should be in terms of the bending and straightening of the knee. That is good news. I try to use my recumbent bike daily, and I can now push all the way around both frontwards and backwards. Sounds like a small event, but it is progress. I am told that my surgeon likes bikes and that he will increase the time I use it. My left leg was quite weak after so many years of favoring it, that it will take some time to build up the quad muscle and the whole limb to balance out the strength of the right leg.

I was on my feet a lot on Sunday, hosting a Father's Day barbecue at our house. It was a fun day, but perhaps over-used the knee. Then yesterday I decided to go up and down our stairs a zillion times (to do laundry) and that was probably a bit much. The therapist recommended more biking and less walking to keep the swelling, and the pain, down.

A week from today I will see the surgeon for a final check-up, and it feels like a master's degree comprehensive exam. I am already fretting. I must bend and straighten to his liking, walk straight and stand balanced. So, back to the bike.......

Growing into Me

During my slow hours of recovery, I had a chance to read John Ortberg's book, "the me I want to be" (Zondervan, 2010). I have read all of Ortberg's books, and he always hits a home-run in my game of life. Each one has significantly impacted my spiritual and my professional life. This time, it was the timing that as perfect. It was exactly the right book at the right time. Major joint replacement surgery is a parenthetical pause in my "normal" life, my hurried schedule and my "ho-hum" routine. It has given me the opportunity to deeply examine my life, past, present and future. I soaked up Ortberg's book like a sponge, and found his purpose and presentation convicting and convincing.

Orberg is not for from my age, and I understand his thinking: "I do not know how many years of life are before me. I cannot wait anymore to be the [person] God wants me to be. There is a me I want to be." He writes about discovering the "flow" of God's Spirit in our lives, living and thinking in that flow. He touches on all the "flow blockers" that can be present: lack of surrender, temptations, "trying harder," our work, our relationships, difficult people, and the adversities life throws at us.

His book has inspired me to sift through all the "stuff" of my life and get rid of whatever blocks the flow of God's work in my day-to-day existence -- and that's a lot of "stuff." I have accumulated too much "stuff" over the years, from material possessions to emotional baggage and spiritual "duties." I confess that I am the quintessential shopper: I love clothes, shoes, accessories, cosmetics, and all the "girlie" things that are so pervasive in our society. Shopping was a stress reliever and an enjoyable hobby. Occasionally I found it necessary to clean out bulging closets and drawers, to make room for more "stuff," of course.

Now I am really "cleaning house," giving mounds to charity, throwing away and simplifying my physical existence. Simplicity is the key word. Every drawer, every closet and every storage box -- simplify, pare down, eliminate duplicates, try to get by on 39 pairs of black shoes......If I haven't used it in five years, I do not need it now. I think you get the picture.

Yet Orbterg has pushed me one step further. It is time to experience a new beginning in all aspects of my life. This is not just a physical cleaning project. Like the act of cleaning up and clearing out material things, it is time to do the same in my spiritual and emotional life as well. I am really looking at the real me, and trying to specifically identify anything in my life that makes me the me that I do NOT want to be. This may include (but is not limited to) self-centered desires, nagging temptations, lack of confidence in God's ability to mold me (shouldn't I do this myself?), and a real avoidance of pain and confrontation.

I have a new knee. With a lot of work and therapy and tenacity, it will be better than the old one. Why not apply this kind of perseverance to the rest of my life? I have a big God, and, thanks to him, I have a new life. It will be better than the old one.

Two-weeks Post-Surgery

Just over two weeks have passed since surgery. In some ways the time seems like forever, and yet in other ways it seems like the blink of an eye. I think I am on schedule for where I need to be at this point, but who really knows for sure? I am walking without a walker, with a cane waiting in the wings just in case. But I am slow and uneven. I sleep pretty well, but still take the pain pills before bed at night. Because of all the pills (including a blood-thinner), I continue to watch what I eat and drink. I can read and write, but it is just so uncomfortable to sit in a chair for any length of time and I keep thinking about the exercises I should be doing....

My physical therapist discovered that my entire left side is lower than the right side of my body -- from my shoulders, through my hips and down the leg. Thus, you could say I am a little "crooked." My spine and posture are okay, but all the muscles on my left side are weaker. Certainly this is a reflection of decades of favoring my left knee. I did not even carry anything in my left hand if I didn't have to. My knee was so weak that it through off my whole balance, and the right side has been compensating. So I really am trying to walk straighter and smoother and less rigid. It is easy to fall back into that habit of favoring the left side to reduce pain.

They say the first two weeks are the most difficult (whoever "they" are), so I am past that point. It has not been easy, and I look forward to just getting better and better....

Home Again.

Home from the hospital yesterday. The titanium knee is in place and functioning as well as can be expected. It is very good to be home. What a way to spend a Memorial Day weekend! I do not miss the tubes and shots and early morning pain pills. Kudos to the surgeon and surgical team for a job well done. The nurses and staff were just wonderful to me; the hospital was superb. Not exactly the Ritz-Carlton , but a great place to stay if you have to be there....

The pain is bearable if I take the pain pills correctly. It took a while to find tolerable pain pills for me since most of them make me sick to my stomach. The trick is to stay on schedule with the pills, and keep remembering that the more I hurt now, the sooner I will not hurt at all.

Certainly the worst is over, and the gradual healing has begun. That's kind of like all of life. Just when you think there can be no greater pain, there is. Just when you think you can take no more pain, you can. And, it's not all about me. Somehow, life goes on very well all around me in spite of my physical, emotional or spiritual pain.
Therefore, before I forget, I would like to thank my thoughtful friends, my caring family, and my patient husband (the caretaker), for all their care and concern. What a comfort to know that even at my worst, I am still loved.
Praise the Lord and pass the pain pills.

One week to go.....

Just one week before knee surgery, I have a list a mile long of things to do before I go "under the knife." Most critical, I have finished grading my final papers from the spring class, and final course grades are figured and ready to submit to the seminary. Whew. There are only two students with extensions on the course, so I will wrap up those grades later, closer to the end of June. Second most critical, I have had a hair-cut and a manicure.....

Kaiser Health has prepared me well for the surgery. We attended a "joint replacement class" at the hospital early in May that was very helpful. The hospital is the "Good Samaritan" Hospital in Lafayette, about 40 minutes north and east of our house. The timing is only important because I have to be there at 5:30 AM for a 7:30 surgery! Truly, for a "non-morning person," this could be the hardest part ....

We learned a lot about knee replacement and hip replacement as well (really glad it is not my hip...). I had no idea that I would be on a pain management (medication) program for about a month, as well as a blood-thinner for a few weeks to avoid blood clots. Kaiser will send physical therapists to my home to aid in my rehabilitation after surgery about two or three times a week; in addition, they will send someone to take blood samples to evaluate my pain meds and blood thinner. The key to recovery (I am told) is to keep the knee moving, eventually gaining full range of motion. That means managing pain and a lot of hard work.

Then, I had a pre-op appointment with a nurse practitioner and a final appointment with my surgeon. The nurse took a battery of tests and checked all my vital signs. Within a few days, the test results were e-mailed to me; I like that about Kaiser. Fortunately, I appear to be very "normal" on all accounts, which is a good sign. I liked that, too. I am a very "low-risk" patient with no severe medical or physical problems. I am pretty darn healthy (need I say, "for my age..."?) and for that I am very grateful.

My surgeon was succinct and confident. I guess you want a confident person as your surgeon or your quarterback! I am unable to straighten my bad knee. It also curves out, making me look quite bow-legged. In order to get it as straight as possible, the doctor told me to straighten it (in a sitting position) and push down on either side of it. That's Dave's job and he is good at inflicting pain as instructed. At this point, I am not allowed to take any pain medicine with aspirin, but I can (thankfully) take Tylenol to sleep at night. No vitamins, or herbal pills allowed.

So this coming week is filled with preparations and pain, dinners with friends and family (each one feeling like my "last supper..."). Life as I now know it will come to a screeching halt at midnight on May 27-28. After surgery, I will have new opportunities, new feelings, new schedules, new goals, new attitudes and a brand-new titanium knee. Praise God. I am ready.
As they used to say, "stayed tuned for more up-dates...."

Graduation

This morning was a graduation celebration for 89 new graduates of Denver Seminary, for their friends and families. For the faculty, staff, or anyone even remotely associated with the school, this is a joyous occasion! Lots of hard work, for students and for instructors, culminating in many happy faces. A "mountain-top" experience, the students have successfully met all the challenges for three or four (or more) years of academic pursuit. It all boils down to this -- so, now where do we go from here?

President Mark Young delivered an inspirational address, especially since he well noted that "no one attends graduation ceremonies to hear a speaker...." He spoke from 2 Corinthians 5:13-15, suggesting that we all must be "out of our minds" for Jesus. It is the love of God that compels us to serve others, in a world where one can make more money doing almost anything other than ministry. It is not our selfish motives or the love of self that drives us to serve -- it is only the love of God and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ that compels us to ministry.

Dr. Young urged new graduates not to look for a "job," a "profession," but follow a "passion." His words were well-spoken. If we have, indeed, equipped these students well, they will make the Christian church more effective and the entire world a better place. Dr. Young thinks globally, and it is time we all took 2 Cor. 14-15 more seriously, compelled to serve others by the love of Christ for me -- and you!
May God bless all the new graduates, and may we all learn to live for him and not for ourselves (v. 15)!

Technololgy

Technology. Ya gotta love it. When it doesn't work, I get frustrated and want to throw it out. But so many more things are accessible that were inaccessible to us before the age of computers and internet. My most recent example is a theological conference. I tend to be a "conference junkie," so I would have loved to go to Wheaton College to attend the 19th Annual Theological Conference last month. Some of the NT students at seminary drove to Chicago to attend, and I would have enjoyed being with them. The conference, "Jesus, Paul and the People of God," was highlighted with awesome speakers such as N.T. Wright, Richard Hays, Marianne Meye Thompson and Kevin Vanhoozer. I was privileged to see and hear Bishop Wright in the UK at a British New Testament conference, and he is awesome. Thompson is a familiar Johannine scholar, but I have never heard her in person. Hays and Vanhoozer have been a big part of my life since I am teaching biblical hermeneutics. So, it was a chance to see some of the "biggies." Regrettably, I could not go.

Then, through Twitter, I discovered that I can link into the Windows Booksellers PDX. Through this site, I can download the audios and videos of the speakers at the Wheaton conference! I am so amazed. I can hear them without leaving my office chair. Life is good!

The "web" is certainly an exciting and a complicated journey into one unknown, that leads to another, that leads to another, that leads to another -- well, I guess you get the point. I could spend countless hours searching, networking, blogging, and bunny-hopping all over the virtual universe. For some reason, it still feels like I am wasting my time, "playing on the computer," when I should be reading or writing or doing something "constructive" (like cooking, cleaning, laundry or gardening). Why is that??

Well anyway, I think there are about a million things I should be doing this lovely Sunday afternoon, so I had better get started.......

No Pain, No Gain

I just started a daily exercise regiment for strengthening my knees. I bought a new stationary exercise bike that can give me my time, pulse, calories used and mileage. Not that I really want that information....
This all started when I was aged twenty, when the doctor eliminated torn cartilage in my left knee. It was an old football injury. So, I have been "bone-on-bone" ever since. At this point, my knee is arthritic and painful. I have been considering replacement for years, but the medical world said I was "too young" (only time I did not relish those words....). Commonly, knee replacements last only 15-20 years, and it is not a good idea to habitually be replacing joints.
Finally, the time has come and I am "looking forward" to knee replacement surgery on May 28. I say that with fear and trembling, yet I know that I will be very glad to have a new knee. I will be able to walk without pain and limping. I will not look like a 90-year-old woman as I pass by store windows. I might even hike and ski, which I have not done in years.
I did not intend to whine. I am very grateful that science and medicine makes this kind of surgery possible. Many people have shared their "success" stories with me of their friends and family members. I think it makes me feel better.
I will keep you posted not only on my preparation exercises, but on the actual surgery itself (though I may skip the gory details). This blog should be a highlight of your day........

Blogging is Beginning

Someone once told me that a writer should write. In order to become a better writer, "practice makes perfect." In fact, blogging is a pretty good way to pour out thoughts through computer keys to fill a blank square on a screen. I have attempted to be a consistent "blogger" only twice before the creation of this blog. I can't say that I am a failure, but the blogs did not write themselves, and days and weeks passed before it occurred to me that nothing was being written.

While I lived in Scotland, blogging seemed more essential. We were a long ways away from everyone, and there was lots to tell. When we returned home, blogging seemed less important and I struggled for things to say. Further, I really doubted that anyone ever wanted to read, or took the time to read, the blogs I created. That's when I was told that the purpose of blogging is not for the benefit of the readers, but of the writer.

Perhaps "three's a charm." This is my third attempt to set up a place where I can think and write and respond to life. This time it was difficult to "title" my blog. I try to avoid bare names, empty rhymes, trite plays-on-words and self-serving titles. I have chosen a very meaningful Scriptural passage (at least to me) from 2 Peter; most of my adult life I have desired to "grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." I have lived long enough to know that we never "arrive" this side of heaven. I continue to appreciate the grace given to me by God, and I continue to strive to "know" Him through his Son and through his Word. One of my greatest joys in life is to share the word of God with anyone who will listen -- in and out of the classroom. So, thanks for reading....and stay tuned............